Originally, I had planned to write more about Christmas traditions this week as the house now looks like Christmas threw up on it, as my kids used to like to say.
But since decorating, I’ve returned to Long Island to help my sister pack for her big move. This is the sister that lost her husband a couple of months back. She never ceases to amaze me. I wasn’t sure what to expect as we prepare the home she shared with the love of a lifetime for sale. We’ve talked about it lots and her faith is so strong she is not only certain he is in a better place but continues to live on in her heart.
She prays to ‘Saint Lou’ frequently. Looking for guidance and assistance with small tasks. And consistently, he has been there for her. Finding missed placed keys to making sure the near parking spot is open.
As we go room to room, she gathers memories and necessities to take with her. Memories consisting primarily of pictures of him. Pictures from before she knew him. Pictures of him as a young boy before the muscular dystrophy had become apparent. Pictures of the parents that raised him.
Their house was extremely organized so the packing is going easy. Everything in its place and a place for everything. Each room holds memories and I frequently fear that this will all catch up with. Yet it doesn’t. She stays focused on that he is in a better place and still with her.
We have looked at a number of places for her to live and she has decided she wants to be closer to me. So, this move is not just about switching homes but changing everything. It will be the first time she has lived out of New York. New everything. New doctors, new church, new friends, new shopping, new adventures, new activities.
At times I fear the ending piece of the transition will rear its ugly head, but instead, she talks of new beginnings. She is looking at Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRC) as she is a social person. The planned activities and community fit her social needs, while the independent living allows her to keep her own space.
These communities are amazing, so far from the nursing homes of yesteryear. The biggest challenge is understanding the difference in terminology, and that the terminology isn’t always consistent. There’s independent living, assisted living, and nursing care. We discovered these terms tend to refer to how much you take care of yourself and how much assistance there is. Apartment sizes vary accordingly.
The CCRCs are designed to support transitions through the three stages as the residents needs shift.
I’m excited about the transition, as it will be wonderful having my sister near me. I am looking forward to creating lots of legacy moments together.