Colleagues

For many years I worked as a computer scientist. In general through school and work I was treated the same as the guys. In school there was the occasionally teacher that was a bit more lenient because they appreciated my legs. There was also the occasional one that was downright nasty because I had the audacity to use my brains.

The funniest stories were when someone assumed I was an admin. Given that I would starve if I had to make a living as an admin, made it even funnier.

I recall sitting at the computer, very focused on my code, when a fellow that was doing some consulting work for us walked in and dropped a large stack of paper on my desk and said “I need this typed”, I turned to him and simply responded “Good luck with that”. He grabbed his stack of paper and huffed away.

Funnier yet, I was standing at the front desk when an older fellow came in for an interview. He was short and stocky and profusely sweating. Just than my boss came out of his office to take him to the conference room for the interview. As they headed that way the fellow turned to me and said – “Honey, could you get me a cup of coffee”? At this point my boss let him know his interview was with me. Needless to say, he didn’t get the job.

On the flipside I’ve had many amazing colleagues, so two jerks in a 25 year career isn’t too bad.

My colleague, Khalid, was perhaps the most amazing. When we developed code together it was magic. Most of our conversations consisted of half sentences as we naturally knew where the other was taking it. It’s nearly 30 years ago that we worked together but I feel his presence as if it were yesterday.

One Friday, I had a miserable flu and had taken the day off from work. I had heard through the grapevine they were looking for folks to work the weekend. So, when a call came in from the office I answered with my most pathetic voice.

But the call was not about coming into work. Rather it was to let me know Khalid had been killed in a car crash. Someone driving the other way had smashed the driver’s door of his car.

Instantly, it put everything in perspective. I was worried about avoiding going into the office. His pregnant wife had to determine how she was going to raise 5 children on her own. They had 4 daughters, all under the age of five. They had recently learned she was carrying their son.

I was devastated. He had been a tremendous influence on my life. I was so shaken, my then boyfriend accused me of having an affair with Khalid. (Yes that relationship ended). As I reflected on all the time I had spent with Khalid, it dawned on me that we had never physically touched, not even to shake hands.

I went to visit his widow soon after. We connected instantly. So much so she asked if I would stand in for him at the birth of their son. I was more than happy to do this for them. I had Grandma P lined up for when she went into labor to watch my girls. The day came. Many hours of labor and she was unable to deliver, it was decided they would do a C-section. For this I was asked to wait in the hall.

I knew the moment he was born, as I felt Khalid’s spirit pass through me and join his wife in the operating room. Truly a legacy moment.